Fans of the Golden Bachelor accused Mel Owens of being an “expert gaslighter” during Wednesday night’s finale.
In the last episode, the 66-year-old former NFL star was down to two women: Cindy Cullers and Peg Munson. However, at the beginning of the finale, Cindy made Mel’s decision easier when she decided to leave after Mel was not ready to commit to marriage. Cindy, 60, was ready for marriage, and Mel seemed hesitant, having mentioned that he could propose in two years. During the finale, which included an after the final rose ceremony segment, the show reunited Cindy and Mel to discuss their breakup.
The conversation was filled with tension between Mel and Cindy. Viewers watching at home did not like how Mel handled the conversation and felt as if he was gaslighting her. According to Middle Georgia State University, “the modern definition of gaslighting is a psychological manipulation technique in which a person tries to convince someone that their reality is untrue.”
On X formerly Twitter, a person wrote, “And the #GoldenBachelor is an expert gaslighter! #lame.” A second person said, “Is he gaslighting her right now? So everything would have changed if she went to the Fantasy Suite?”

Mel keep saying that he and Cindy didn’t have time (Image: ABC)
Another said, “OhMiGosh….Mel is such a gaslighting piece of s–t….!” A fourth said, “I can’t believe how deliberately Mel is making Cindy’s disappointment Cindy’s fault.”
Their conversation started with Cindy admitting that she thought Mel was the one and was “disappointed” that Mel had gotten that far without telling her he wasn’t ready for a commitment to her and nor to all the other contestants. She asked when he knew he wasn’t ready.
Mel claimed he was ready and said that their conversation wasn’t finished, and his heart and head weren’t there yet. He said they still had the Fantasy Suites, which he said Cindy was not prepared for. He said the Fantasy Suites, not only a place for intimacy but talking, would have given them a lot more time. He reiterated that they never got there.”

Cindy left when Mel didn’t seem like was committed to marriage (Image: ABC)
The retired biomedical engineer agreed they didn’t get there and explained why. Cindy said, “I wasn’t sure I wanted you to lead me to the Fantasy Suites when you couldn’t lead in the relationship.” She added that he spoke more to host Jesse Palmer than to her.
Mel doubled down on how they didn’t have time and “didn’t get there to ask those questions.” He said there are things they could said behind closed doors and without the cameras. Mel argued that Cindy “only wanted a proposal” and had forgotten that another person was present. He continued to say, they can’t “leapfrog” over that person, and if he had said that he wanted to propose to her, it would have been “over.”
Mel told Cindy that he doesn’t operate in a “leap of faith” way, so he doesn’t go from “there” to getting married. Cindy replied that “that’s fair” and how she “operates differently” from him, and that they were “aligned.” She elaborated how the situation “took her by surprise” that they had gotten so far before she “saw it.”

The two talked about their break-up (Image: ABC)
Mel said to Cindy that he wasn’t trying to get her to the Fantasy Suite after she had said that a “greater price was paid” to get her to the Fantasy Suite. Mel insisted he was trying to get her there, but only wanted to talk and said it was her option.
Cindy said she had learned enough, and she was in it for the commitment at the end, but didn’t feel like she was going to get it from Mel. She stressed how she didn’t need a commitment then, but how Mel had said to her that there wasn’t going to be a commitment and he wasn’t going to take a “leap of faith.”
She told Mel that she wasn’t asking him to commit to her, and she was “well aware” that Peg was also there. Mel said to Cindy that she wanted the commitment before the process, and his “heart wasn’t there.”
Mel once more said that they never got there, and that Cindy decided to leave, which was her “prerogative.” Mel added that his feelings toward Cindy were straightforward. He went on to say that Cindy asked him to take a leap of faith, but he doesn’t go from “knowing a person and getting married.” He told Cindy that she wanted to get married without the time in between.

Cindy and Peg were the final two women before the finale (Image: Getty)
Cindy said she was a “wise woman” and knew there would be no wedding at the end of the show. She just had hope for a commitment and “taking this fairytale to its happily ever after.”
Mel claimed she wanted to skip ahead and get married. Cindy gave him an example that she wasn’t; she said she was willing to move to California (live separately) so they can pursue a life together as “there’s no rush.” Mel interrupted her, saying, That doesn’t interest me, though.”
Their conversation concluded with Cindy telling Mel that she really loved him so much and just wants him to be happy. Mel responded with, “Likewise”. Cindy told Jesse she learned so much from this journey, which has made her realize she is ready, and her person is “out there.”
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