Saturday Night Live just delivered a merciless takedown of Kristi Noem’s spectacular fall from Trump’s cabinet in its cold open.

Rising star Ashley Padilla reprised her role as the ousted DHS Secretary, turning Noem’s real-life disgrace into comedy gold.

Padilla’s Noem opened with a fake press conference: “I just want to make it clear that I didn’t get fired. I self-deported.” She continued, “And though I may be leaving this job, I will not be ending my mission. As I told my plastic surgeon: the work is never done.”

Referencing Noem’s infamous 2024 admission that she shot her own dog, Cricket, the sketch had her declare: “I gave my all to the DHS, and I have no regrets. Because like they say: you miss 100 percent of the dogs you don’t shoot.”

The bit then pivoted to Noem’s real firing, announced by Trump in the usual way – on Truth Social – which is how she actually found out. Trump spun it as a promotion to a made-up role: “Special Envoy for The Shield of the Americas.”

And this sick burn: “I took this job with the goal of securing our border, deporting thousands of illegals, and spending $200 million on ads of me riding a horse. And I think I really nailed it. And by ‘it,’ I mean my married co-worker in a big, beautiful, flying bedroom 30,000 feet over Minneapolis.”

The cold open began with Colin Jost as Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth, once again attempting to sell Trump’s Iran war without frat-boy energy.

“The situation’s complicated, OK, so let me put it in terms that I can understand,” Jost’s Hegseth said. “We’re giving Iran a third-degree purple-nurple.”

When pressed if it’s a war or not, he replied: “Why do we have to put labels on everything? What are you guys, a high school girlfriend, which I had! This isn’t a war, OK? It’s a situationship. We’re just gonna hook up, we’ll see where it goes. If it feels good, we’ll keep going. And if we get bored, we’ll start hooking up with Cuba.”

If SNL’s savage roast of Noem’s firing and Hegseth’s Iran “situationship” has you laughing through the rage, like and share: Trump’s cabinet is a circus! Keep exposing the incompetence