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There’s no way to sugarcoat it. This has been a brutal offseason for myself and Celtics fans everywhere. From the moment Jayson Tatum popped his Achilles, it’s been nothing but shotgun blast to the chest after shotgun blast to the chest. In the blink of an eye, one of the greatest teams in NBA history was dismantled. Things started off with the fire sale of two players who helped bring the Celts over the top, with Jrue and KP getting shipped out of town all because of that asshole 2nd apron. Then, we lost out beautiful Luke Kornet so he could go be David Robinson to Wemby’s Tim Duncan out in SA to the tune of $4/40M. Then, we had to come to the realization that the dream of Al Horford continuing to be a Celtic is over, and it’s very likely he’s going to join Steph Curry, Jimmy Butler and Draymond Green in GS, which makes me want to fucking vomit.

You could say we’ve been through some shit these last few months, and unfortunately, the pain isn’t stopping any time soon

What the fuck is this? I’ll tell you what this is, this is one of the most disgusting things I have ever seen with my own eyes. Look, I’ve accepted that the Marcus Smart Era as a Celtic is long over. That was the sacrifice that had to be made to the Basketball Gods in order to bring Banner 18. We had to give up a soul for a soul. And I realize that once they’re out there in the league you run the risk of something like this happening, but I’m sorry. Marcus Smart being a Laker is fucking gross. Seeing him in that Shams photoshop is fucking gross. You’d think we’d be used to the Lakers trying to go after the Celts’ sloppy seconds by now given what we’ve seen these last few years
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but I’m here to tell you it still makes me want to both claw my eyes out and puke everywhere all at once. I don’t even care if Smart isn’t the same player he was as a Celtic. That’s not what this is about. This is just about how fucking weird it is to see the former captain of the Celtics now a member of the Lakers. Just typing that sentence feels weird as shit

It all just feels so wrong. I would have taken pretty much any other team in the league if we’re being honest. The Bucks would have looked weird, but we got a ring with Jrue so that’d be pretty funny if Bucks fans now had to root for Smart. I guess looking back on all this, really we can blame the Grizzlies. They should have never traded Smart to the Wizards, and looked at what’s happened for them since. Now I have to watch Smart be a Laker because the Grizzlies are idiots? Fuck you for that. Welcome to my shit list forever.

I will say, a move and reality like this is fitting that it’s coming in this particular offseason, where every Shams tweet feels like he’s dicking me directly in the dick. Haven’t we as Celtics fans suffered enough? Do I need to say uncle or something, because I will. How do I get this to stop? Just give me the Horford to GS tweet to rub the salt on this wound already and let’s just get this all over with.

At the same time, if there’s any consolation to now having to stomach this horrific turn of events, the good news is the new Marcus Smart is here, and his name is Hugo Gonzalez

But seriously. That Smart photoshop just feels so wrong. Gross.