There will never be another Abby Sciuto. Actress Pauley Perrette departed from NCIS six years ago and confirms that her retirement from acting is permanent.

“I’m not ungrateful for the benefits that it gave to me,” Perrette said of acting in a new interview with the website Hello! “But I’m a different person now and I want to be here for it — the good and the bad and the painful. I want to be me all the time, and it takes a good amount of courage for me to say that to myself but it’s authentically how I feel.”

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After leaving NCIS, Perrette starred in one other show for CBS: The short-lived sitcom Broke, in which she starred as Jackie, a single mom who takes in her sister and brother-in-law after they’re cut off financially by his wealthy parents. Broke aired on CBS from April-June 2020 and was subsequently canceled, after which Perrette announced her official retirement from acting. Since then, she’s been producing documentaries like Studio One Forever, which chronicles the history of the titular L.A. disco.

“At this point in my life I have this deep need to find authenticity in everything, and being an actor, especially at certain points in my life, was a great escape,” Perrette said. “It’s like a drug because I didn’t have to be me, I could be somebody else. My character didn’t have all of the problems that I was having.”

She continued, “It’s why I only watch documentaries, I want the truth. For me, going back to being an actor would be taking away from this life of true authenticity that I’m living 100 percent of the time.”

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Pauley Perrette at the Los Angeles LGBT Center on March 8, 2024 in Los Angeles, Calif.Jon Kopaloff/Getty

Perrette’s best-known performance prior to her retirement is still Abby Sciuto, the forensic scientist with a bubbly personality and Goth looks, who she played on NCIS from its premiere in 2003 until 2018. She was widely described as the most popular woman on primetime television, which is why some fans were shocked when she departed the show.

Shortly after her last episode aired, Perrette posted a few cryptic tweets in which she referred to “multiple physical assaults” that allegedly took place on the show. At the time, CBS spokespeople commented that “over a year ago, Pauley came to us with a workplace concern. We took the matter seriously and worked with her to find a resolution.” Perrette subsequently tweeted that CBS “have always been so good to me and always had my back.”

A year later, apparently fed up with getting the same question, Perrette tweeted in all caps, “No I am not coming back! Ever! Please stop asking?” In the same tweet, she identified her NCIS costar Mark Harmon as a source of her departure from the show, writing that “I am terrified of Harmon and him attacking me. I have nightmares about it.”

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In an oral history of NCIS conducted by The Hollywood Reporter to mark the show’s 20th anniversary last year, executive producer Charles Floyd Johnson explained that the source of Perrette’s discontent was an incident where Harmon brought his dog to set and it bit someone working on the show.

“In Pauley Perrette’s case, there was an incident with the show with a dog,” Johnson told THR. “The dog was Harmon’s, and apparently the dog bit someone. Pauley was a huge, huge SPCA [Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals] animal person. And then the dog kept coming with Harmon, and she felt it wasn’t safe for the show. By the end of that year, she just felt like it wasn’t working for her anymore, and it was time to move on.”

Harmon has not commented publicly on the conflict, and his representatives did not immediately respond to Entertainment Weekly‘s request for further comment. Harmon departed NCIS in 2021, though he is involved in the upcoming prequel series NCIS: Origins.