‘Today’ Star Hoda Kotb Opens Up About Her SEARCH FOR LOVE After JOEL SCHIFFMAN SPLIT

Hoda Kotb has spoken candidly about the qualities that make her feel attracted to and impressed by a romantic partner, several years after ending her relationship with Joel Schiffman.

The former Today anchor discussed love and desire during a recent episode of her podcast, Making Space with Hoda Kotb. Her guest was psychotherapist and bestselling author Esther Perel, who is known for exploring relationships, intimacy and the way couples connect with one another.

Kotb has shared parts of her personal life with viewers for many years, including her relationships and experiences as a mother. During the conversation with Perel, she reflected on the moments in past relationships when she felt the strongest sense of admiration for her partner.

The discussion came as Kotb continues building a new chapter away from her longtime position on Today.

She first joined the programme’s fourth hour as a co-host in 2007, working alongside Kathie Lee Gifford and later Jenna Bush Hager. In 2018, she was promoted to co-anchor of the main show alongside Savannah Guthrie.

Kotb officially stepped away from her role on January 10, 2025. Since leaving the morning programme, she has focused on other projects, including her wellness platform and app, Joy 101, as well as her podcast.

Her love life has also remained a subject of interest among longtime viewers.

Kotb was married to Burzis Kanga from 2005 until 2008. She later began dating financier Joel Schiffman in 2013, and the couple announced their engagement in 2019.

However, Kotb revealed in 2022 that she and Schiffman had ended their engagement and separated. Despite the split, they have remained on friendly terms and continue raising their children together.

During her conversation with Perel, Kotb was asked to think about what made her feel most drawn to a partner. Perel made it clear that the question was not limited to sexual attraction, but was also about the deeper moments that created interest, admiration and emotional desire.

“When do you find yourself most drawn to your partner?” Perel asked. “Not just sexually — drawn to in the good sense?”

Kotb clarified that she was speaking about previous relationships rather than confirming that she currently had someone new in her life.

She explained that she was often most impressed when watching a partner completely absorbed in something they did well.

“When they were in their work; in their element,” Kotb said.

She recalled being attracted to the confidence and ability a partner showed while playing sports, performing in front of other people or taking control of a situation in which they felt completely comfortable.

“Whether it was watching them play golf because they dominated, or on the tennis court, or in front of a crowd, that was always a ‘wow’ because I was kind of admiring,” she explained.

Kotb also mentioned watching a partner lift weights as another moment that caught her attention. For her, seeing someone physically focused and capable created the same feeling of admiration.

However, one of the most meaningful examples she gave had nothing to do with sport or professional success.

Kotb said she also felt that sense of attraction while watching her former partner hold their daughter.

That combination of strength, confidence and tenderness appeared to be what stayed with her most.

Perel responded by explaining that Kotb’s answer was common. According to the relationship expert, people often find it easier to admire their partner when that person is fully involved in something and does not appear to need help or attention.

“They don’t need me,” Perel said. “And if they don’t need me, I don’t have to take care of them. I don’t have to be responsible.”

Perel suggested that those moments create space for a person to look at their partner from a distance and appreciate who they are, rather than immediately thinking about what needs to be done for them.

“When they don’t need me because they’re in their thing, I can admire them,” she continued.

She explained that admiration can involve a degree of idealisation, allowing someone to look up to their partner and see them in a more powerful or appealing light. According to Perel, that feeling can become an important part of desire and romantic attraction.

The conversation offered insight into what Kotb has valued in past relationships without suggesting that she has begun a new romance.

Since separating from Schiffman, Kotb has remained open about love and the possibility of finding another partner. At the same time, she has continued to speak positively about the relationship she and Schiffman maintain as co-parents.

Her latest comments suggest that she is drawn to someone who is confident in their own world, comfortable in their abilities and capable of creating moments that make her stop and admire them.

For Kotb, attraction appears to be less about someone demanding attention and more about watching them become completely themselves.