‘NCIS: Tony & Ziva’ (Courtesy of Paramount+); ‘The Summer I Turned Pretty’ (Courtesy of Prime Video); ‘Dexter: Resurrection’ (Courtesy of Paramount+)
As the U.S. Open comes to an end, let’s continue to celebrate TV’s top verbal volleys in our latest Quotes of the Week.
In the column below — which rounds up the best sound bites of the past seven days — you’ll find nearly a dozen shows represented, including The Summer I Turned Pretty, Big Brother, Alien: Earth, Countdown, Peacemaker and Jimmy Kimmel Live!
Also featured in this week’s roundup: Stephen Colbert offers an update to a vintage video game, Project Runway’s Law Roach is disappointed by another design and Dexter: Resurrection delivers a chilling conclusion. Plus, we’ve got a rare triple dose (!) of NCIS: Tony & Ziva.
Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves! (With contributions from Nick Caruso and Kimberly Roots)
PROJECT RUNWAY
“We asked for country chic, you gave us county sh-t, and I’m not going to hold that back.”
We wouldn’t expect you to, Law!
COUNTDOWN
“What is a ‘neotectonic mudfish’?”
“It’s what I called my last girlfriend.”
Meachum (Jensen Ackles) & Co. break down a shock jock’s rants and ramblings
NCIS: TONY & ZIVA (Episode 1)
“You’re crying.”
“So are you, on the inside.”
“Yep, well, we goddamn deserve it.”
“Yeah, we sure goddamn do.”
Ziva (Cote de Pablo) at long last reunites with Tony (Michael Weatherly) and daughter Tali
NCIS: TONY & ZIVA (Episode 1 Bonus Quote!)
“Yep, there she is.”
“Who?”
“Two words: Jewish mother.”
Tony (Michael Weatherly) sees Ziva closing in on the henchmen tailing Tali
NCIS: TONY & ZIVA (Episode 2)
“I’d say ‘take the hint.’ But I’m not f—king hinting.”
Ziva (Cote de Pablo) does not want to go back to law enforcement, are we clear?
ALIEN: EARTH
“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”
Chibuzo (Karen Aldridge) doesn’t like being eyeballed by… well, an eyeball
THE SUMMER I TURNED PRETTY
“I was kind of hoping you’d be more vertical by now and less rank.”
Taylor is losing patience with Jeremiah’s meltdown
BIG BROTHER
“Work on your stamina and endurance by waiting on Lauren to answer a question! You think hanging on during the wall comp is hard? Try hanging on to her every word!”
Rachel Reilly ribs fellow houseguest Lauren Domingue for her insufferable indecision
DEXTER: RESURRECTION
“I used to wish that I could be different. Normal. A life without my dark passenger. But who am I kidding? This is who I am. What I am. I’m Dexter Morgan. I’m exactly who I need to be. Exactly who you want me to be.”
Dexter (Michael C. Hall) stares into our souls as this chapter of the murderous franchise comes to a close
THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT
“Right now, Florida mandates that students have to be vaxxed against polio, diphtheria, measles, rubella, pertussis, mumps and tetanus — also known as diseases that should only come up in Oregon Trail. Although they have now updated that video game so the most common message is ‘You have died of Florida.’”
MY LIFE WITH THE WALTER BOYS
“Why is it that you can’t stay away from him, but you can stay away from me?”
“I can’t… stay away from you, OK? I keep trying to and nothing works! And I can’t have that, Cole. I can’t be with someone who makes me feel the way that you make me feel.”
Jackie is finally is honest about her feelings for Cole — our girl is in love!
PEACEMAKER
“Pop quiz: Can you name the entire address, including zip code, of Emilia Harcourt’s workplace?”
“What?”
“Come on, this is fun.”
“It’s not fun. It’s weird. Why would I know the address of ARGUS?”
“ARGUS. OK, second question—.”
“That counts as right…?”
Chris (John Cena) not-so-deftly asks his brother Keith (David Denman) for alt-universe travel guidance
JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE!
“White men are being erased from American logos. It’s Caucasian-icon genocide. I mean, you go to the store, all the white men are gone from the logos — except for Mr. Clean, Mr. Pringle, Colonel Sanders, the Oats Quaker, the Pittsburgh Pirate, Chef Boyardee, the Brawny paper-towel man, the Gerber Baby, the Keebler elves, the N.B.A. logo. Think about that one for a second. I mean, really: The logo for the N.B.A. is a white guy named Jerry.”
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