In Solidarity With Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel Vows Not To Tell Any Funny Jokes Until ‘Late Show’ Is Reinstated

LOS ANGELES, CA — In solidarity with his friend Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel has vowed not to tell any funny jokes until The Late Show is reinstated.

Kimmel’s bold announcement was made as support continued to rally around Colbert following the cancellation of his program, with the Jimmy Kimmel Live! host promising to remain unfunny and completely devoid of humor unless this perceived wrong was righted.

“I take great personal pride in carrying on this mission,” Kimmel said in a statement. “When networks think they can just cancel comedy shows because nobody thinks they’re funny and they lose tens of millions of dollars for the company every year, someone has to take a stand. It’s up to me and my compatriots to keep refusing to tell funny jokes until CBS agrees to keep killing their profitability and put Colbert back on the air.”

Sources say his audience applauded, as the “applause” signs had just turned on.

Other late-night hosts said they were ready to stand with Kimmel and fight for Colbert’s right to be paid millions of dollars to be really unsuccessful. “We’ll keep doing what we always do,” said Tonight Show host Jimmy Fallon. “We’ll keep going out there and being as unfunny as we can possibly be until this gets resolved. We’ve been doing it for years, so it’s like second nature for us at this point.”

At publishing time, the American viewing public proposed a deal in which all late-night talk show hosts would receive one year of salary in return for never appearing on television again.